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Post by knowlove on Jul 24, 2010 3:32:50 GMT -5
Prim glad things are working out for you this week even though you've had contact with POA. Sounds like you know what is what and are doing a good job handling it all. Make sure you get some rest! KB we did come here for a drama free recovery. Hopefully we can achieve that soon. I think if the individual in question is ignored and we just carry on a usual it should be ok. Most people, when not given an audience, will go away. Just looking for attention in MHO. Great you did a great job setting up this board and I really believe it will flourish. It is warm, caring and friendly. I do not doubt we will be ok. Keep the focus on your recovery and the friends we have here. Nothing else matters! Say some prayers for me. I need them today. Hope everyone is doing ok!
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Post by g on Jul 24, 2010 4:39:59 GMT -5
I'm having a very good morning now and so glad we are all here for each other on the board (and off it when we are feeling particularly vulnerable.) Thought I'd have to stay off the board for a few days but HP has grabbed me by the hair again(he had a few helpers admittedly so thank you all Would love to learn more about the HOW prog both Angel and Primrose speak so highly of. Can't wait to move on with Step work and working on making our board fully functional. I'd put curtains up here too if I could Greta (not 'great' Knowlove!!!)
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Post by g on Jul 24, 2010 7:42:40 GMT -5
Primrose sweetheart, your presence has been missed. Know you've been rushed off your feet at work so you're forgiven. This time G
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Post by rickfaith on Jul 24, 2010 9:20:25 GMT -5
witches of eastwick are gathering round.... thats family... I am going to the festival today and the heck wioth them all.
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Post by trout46 on Jul 24, 2010 10:55:15 GMT -5
Thanks much KB for posting what should be obvious. While we embrance the 12 Traditions, those principles to not support the unfettered right of anyone, regardless of how troublesome their presence is to the group, to be beyond the reach of being asked to pursue their recovery elsewhere.
A careful review of the 12 traditions would support this position. Tradition 3 (the one often cited to claim that anyone and everyone has a right to join any fellowship) states that the only requirement for membership is a desire to [recover]*. [The specific language within the bracketed section is specific to each group.]
Tradition 1, however, makes it clear that "our common welfare comes firstl personal recovery depends upon [LRAA, AA. etc.] unity." The long form of the traditions elaborate this principle, and state that "each member of [LRAA, AA, etc.] is but a small part of a great whole." The 12 x 12 exist to provide for, encourage, and support individual recovery, but individual recovery depends upon the health and functionality of the community, the fellowship of the group. No functional group means no individual recovery. Accordingly, those in a position to service the group must do everything that they can to protect the functionality of the group. (The group is the mothership of all motherships!) Tradition 10 saes that members of a 12 step recovery fellowship have "no opinion on outside issues, hence the [LRAA, AA, etc.] name ought never be drawn into public controversy." The long form of this tradition goes on to make clear that a member of a 12 x 12 fellowship should "express no views whatever" about outside controversial issues.
I speak here as a HGM of this fellowship, but I am prepared to speak as a member of the Administrative Council in the same way. I completely support the sentiments advanced by KB in his post. As my review of some of the traditions would indicate, there are situations in which the integrety or functionality of the group must take precedence over the right of an individual to join the group. That is particularly the case when an individual member is in violation of Tradition 10, has a history of, or appears committed to, a course of action which threatens the functionality of the group, and therefore, for the "common good," is best left out of the group. No one here--least of all the Administrative Council--wants to play the role of, or exercise the powers of, an oligarch. Our history, as KB and Greta have discussed, demonstrates our commitment to a , transparent, and ethical recovery group in which shared governance is alive and well. However, I support the health of the community as paramount, because without that, no one will be able to grow, and ultimately, to recover.
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Post by iwillsurvive on Jul 24, 2010 13:32:16 GMT -5
I suppose it's inevitable in recovery that someone will try to disrupt the process as they act out their own issues. Like Kelleyboy, I came here to work on my issues and to leave behind a board that had become conflictual and chaotic. Although this is the first time I've been in a group adhering to the 12 Steps and 12 Traditions, I respect the long history of AA in particular and the structure that has helped so many people find healing.
Love and Relationship Addicts Anonymous has come together in a structured way that promotes healing with an admin team that was elected and home group members who are given the right to vote on operational issues. While it's not perfect because none of its members are perfect, the admin team concept provides safeguards so that no one person calls all the shots. In active addiction, we all de-stabilize and are prone to act out. The admin team and home group members are here to provide the checks and balance necessary to provide stability for this fellowship.
I support blocking individuals who have demonstrated a pattern of destructive and disruptive behavior that threatens the stability of this fellowship. That kind of behavior on an ongoing basis -- if not addressed -- indicates that the individual is not seeking recovery and falls under that requirement for membership stated in the 12 traditions (forgot which one). IMO
Thanks greta, trout46, primrose, knowlove, kelleyboy and cj for the work you have done and are continuing to do. I pray that you are not discouraged by attacks from the outside but rather get stronger as you bond together for the common purpose and good of this fellowship.
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Post by quinn on Jul 24, 2010 15:21:39 GMT -5
I'm out of town away from computer. Trying to post from phone. Just wanted to say I'm totally in support of doing what we have to do to keep board on a path to recovery for everyone. And thanks to all the work admin has done to make this happen. Secondly just found out a few minutes ago that poa spent the night at someones house. Don't know who don't want to care. But feeling angry when I know I should just not give a sh!t. Trying to focus on HP.
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angel
New Member
Posts: 14
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Post by angel on Jul 24, 2010 18:44:08 GMT -5
The LAA board saved my life when I needed it. I just didn't like the craziness that went on. I also received PM's and got very confused. I like a simple program and here suits me. I don't come often but it is good to come to somewhere small and more personal. I wish everyone over at the other forum well and good recovery. I just choose to be in a smaller more intimate group so that I can follow everyone's recovery.
I had my first PRG today and it went well but I am really tired. I have a SLAA meeting tomorrow. I am about to start my 30 questions. Am really excited to be doing the SLAA HOW program. Am hoping for good recovery.
Love to all Angel
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Post by rickfaith on Jul 24, 2010 22:22:11 GMT -5
I was told by wise aa sponsor...that the 12 traditions is the fellowship, and is for the fellowships survival, and the 12 steps are for the individual.... and that works for me and has worked for many.... there are times i may not believe in you, or me, or so and so...but, i do believe in tyhe written word that a team put in place for us to vote on, and that the team is the whole and that is good. makesme safe to come here with my burdens and find hope and not judgement, and no i have no fear of one person banning me if i merely question what a dictatorship is or looks like... here is a team. I can see it, and I know it cause I helped write the first motion to help us organize. Thats not brag or ego, thats proud to say i helped something flourish...somethinmg i need and believe in heart and soul. Again i say... YAY US!!
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Post by rickfaith on Jul 24, 2010 22:30:10 GMT -5
I didnt read the posts from last page before i just posted ... and have to say i would like it...if peiople who have issues deal with them directly with the person they have them with...and not include the rest of us? Could/would that be possible? Please? Lets not air ourselves on any front pages if possible...IF there is an issue warranting the group...then the group can deal with it, until then... I dont like it when i see posts about anyone person... even if their names arent mentioned, its sdtill intrigue and drama i dont need.... Thats just my opinion and i dont mean to ruffle anyone by stating it. It is better in face to face aa meetings, or on line any kind of meetings...for the invidviduals to work on issues one on one or however technology lets them.... If they cannot...then the group and or committee takes team action to address the issue facing the group. Thanks for reading. R
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Post by rickfaith on Jul 25, 2010 0:00:29 GMT -5
having said all of that... I still think our site here is the best site and has the best promise for recovery for me personally...simply because we use the traditions. No one can stop us now...even if anyone tried...its too late... too many good people have put theri weight behind this and it will work...despite any issues of the last few days bettween one or two folks... this site will prevail, will survive, and will continue to serve the voting members and be there for all the new ones to come. And they will come... we are in infancy...and look what we have accomplished already! LRAA!!!!! The new group, the solid group, the board elected group. Our group.
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Post by g on Jul 25, 2010 1:36:04 GMT -5
Thanks Rick. We are all tired of the drama and chaos that has been haunting our lives for years. And finally, finally, we can spend time together here on healing our childhood wounds and learning and sharing new tools to help us grow as adults.
This fellowship is a gift from God and all of us who are part of it should be truly grateful. We wouldn't exist without each other.
So, thanks to quinn and IWS for your support and for being committed to our recovery journey.
Angel, we're glad you're here too and you are welcome whenever you manage to join us.
Hope everyone has a happy Sunday wherever you are in the world.
May HP continue to guide us and allow GC to be heard whenever the need arises. G
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Post by rickfaith on Jul 25, 2010 4:58:50 GMT -5
welll...went to the festival yesterday...12 hours later...got out of there still i one piece. i have found that since my exhausted state of this past year of being a caregiver for my parents, that a lot of my recovery has been ... hmmm... how do i say it... I have regressed? I am more jealous, more insecure, irratable, etc. Judgemental, fearful, worried more. Anyway, yesterday i spent all day with butterflies extreme...like i was going to throw up all day... insecure, watching gf and watching tio see who she looked at...and one guy was very handsome and she did like a double take...and it almost killed me... and she is very loyal but i guess very human...she says she doesnt size men up...but i can see it happen...whether i am sick o0r insecure or not it happens. But i do it like aq hundred times more than she does... but the insecurity, selfr centeredness, and weak feelinmgs...abandonment, jealousy, fear, and trying to ciontrol when i am out of control...is awful...anyone else here ever go through that..? i suspect I am not alone. Its very very hard, and then she wants to go to the front and 'waqtch' the band, and i just wonder why watch? Its very juvenile i am sure...but also, very very, very painful and i hate being like it...and i shared with her how i felt...and now am afraid that she will have that "on me" and next time we break up ... (which ought to be soon ) as thats the pattern, next time then i go through worse hell because she will know that night clubs, other men, hurt me, and will do that to me... OR...in MY MIND she will, which is a zoo of its own. Like a teenager, I must continue..... i guess, a very hurt hurt hurt teenager...maybe 12 years old and too short, over weight, and never ever good enough or as handsome as the other guys. Same old awful painful issues. God, please take these fears from me, and let me trust that you HP will deliver me from this madness...for this madness is so awful in its panic, terror, and then trying to control outcomes, saying and acting stupid and juvenile, Please HP let me get well. Amen
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Post by g on Jul 25, 2010 6:25:59 GMT -5
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