Hi there from Angel

[angel]

Hi there everyone.

I am back from China, well i am in London at the moment and am getting to meetings and can access this site now that I am out of China.

Great to see everyone is doing well.

hugs
Angel

[phoenix]

Hi Angel! So glad to see your post! Greta told us of your issues getting online.

Im happy that you're now able to access the board and attend meetings to support your recovery. Best Wishes~ Phoenix

[g]

Hiya!!!
My internet connection is down so no chance of getting on skype these days.
Glad you found us!
Big hug
G

[knowlove]

glad you are now able to be here with us!

[primrose]

Angel! Great to hear from you. look forward to reading about what you've been up to. Big hug. P.

[angel]

Dear Primrose,

Greta has been keeping me informed about what has been happening. Here looks great, lots of focus on recovery. Am happy that you are all doing so well.

Just to update you all, I am currently still working my Alanon program but now am working a HOW version of the SLAA program. I am also one of three people in recovery in China. There is one in Beijing, one in Shanghai and myself who floats between them. I am on the translation committee for SLAA and CoDA for China as well. I started a CoDA meeting in Chinese in my hometown south of Shanghai.

My Q has contacted me a couple of times but we haven't met. He is possibly confused as to why I don't want to meet him. I am using NVC to communicate with him openly and honestly. If anyone is curious, NVC is Non Violent Communication and it is BRILLIANT. I use it to talk to my inner chlid and I keep an eye on what I say with NVC too. I used it to tell my Q that I wasn't ready to talk to him. I was open and honest. He said he could wait but the last time I went to meet him (we are still both single and supposedly available) I panicked when he came out and asked me by text message if I was staying the night in Shanghai.

I felt extremely anxious and scared. I imagined that he was asking me to stay the night with him so I made it post haste to the bus station and texted to him that since I had no accomodation that night and had thought we were meeting early afternoon rather than early evening, I was going home. I didn't yell or blame him just told him that I was sad that we couldn't connect and wished him well. It is still possible that he is still a Seductive With holder but since I have had littel contact I have no real right to say so - time will tell though I am sure.

NVC is about not blaming self or others. It is possible that he is still addicted and if so he isn't in a state to really see me (into-me-see) and so there is no point in meeting him. So I headed home but on the way met an XQ who sat and talked to me the full three hour journey home. The weird thing was when things went pairshaped with my Q I thought immediately of my XQ as he was also American, and wanted to talk to him. When I sent the txt off that i was returning home I looked up and saw my XQ sitting opposite me! I firmly believe my HP sent him to comfort me. I babbled for three hours and he sat and listened. We managed to get healing between us and later that week met for dinner. It was healing for both of us. He might not have been my Q but during the journey and the following meal I learnt a lot and healed a lot - I think he felt better too.

I am not dating at the moment and don't really want to. I had revelations of incest happening as a child of 3-4 which i mention in another thread. I am currently learning to deal with that and am seeking some people who help incest survivors in London. I am here for a month on training and will go to as many SLAA meetings, Debtors Anonymous, Alanon and Adult Children of Alcoholics meetings as I can possible get to.

Am really happy to be back but realise that I probably will only have a month with you so need to make the most of it.

Love to all
Angel

[moonlight]

Hi Angel

Very good to see you!

Love, Moonlight

[primrose]

Angel, am happy for you that you're working a HOW programme, I find it so helpful. I think you're v wise to concentrate on your inner work when you've discovered the incest. When I started to work on having been molested and having been emotionally incested I didn't have sex, I just couldn't. I needed safety and I needed to nurture my child self. I hope you get to some great meetings, and great to have you for a month. It is such a shame that you can't connect to the board in China now. V best. P.

[g]

Hey folks, Angel is back in China and once again doesn't have access to the board.

As I hear from her regularly, if any of you want to pass on a message you can do that thru me.

G

[serenity]

Angel and I met at a mtg last week in London which was great. I have her business card now so can stay in touch.