Post by primrose on Jun 22, 2010 14:47:45 GMT -5
In withdrawal I think the hardest thing I had to bear was the longing. My longing for my POA was HUGE. It was so intense and overwhelming. That longing was so painful that before I started working a programme I couldn't bear it at all really. When it came up in me I reached for the phone. That longing and my inability to cope with it nearly destroyed my business, my friendships, my marriage. All I was was a woman curled up in a ball holding her phone trying to ward off the pain of not having my POAs attention. I was so addicted to him.
In withdrawal the longing I'd been running from caught me. It overpowered me. I had to face it. It was very hard. I had to learn to just bear it, to suffer through the longing. It helped when people told me it would eventually go, that this incessant longing was a stage of recovery. It was normal for me to feel it and normal for me to be crushed by it, broken by it, and ultimately it would pass.
And it did pass. The unbearable became bearable and as that happened, I became a lot stronger in myself. I've become more detached when it comes to longing. I still feel it at times, but it's lost its power to make me react. Before recovery the slightest suggestion of longing would send me crazy. I HAD to contact my POA. I just couldn't cope. Now, I can feel very intense longing and know I will be alright, that it will pass and I don't have to act out on it. Each day in withdrawal of just letting the longing be, just bearing it, is a proud day. It's such an achievement to recover from love addiction. I wouldn't wish withdrawal on anyone and I am very glad I'm through it, but looking back on it I feel very proud that I did learn to bear the longing and I can see what a precious time it was for me to learn how to cope with such powerful feelings. If you're in withdrawal now, don't give up. It's a time when you meet yourself and understand what you are and what you're capable of. Bearing longing helped me grow up, and I am very happy I went through that experience. It's an extreme and often misunderstood way of reaching maturity, but if you're in it, keep going. It's worth it at the other side. P.
In withdrawal the longing I'd been running from caught me. It overpowered me. I had to face it. It was very hard. I had to learn to just bear it, to suffer through the longing. It helped when people told me it would eventually go, that this incessant longing was a stage of recovery. It was normal for me to feel it and normal for me to be crushed by it, broken by it, and ultimately it would pass.
And it did pass. The unbearable became bearable and as that happened, I became a lot stronger in myself. I've become more detached when it comes to longing. I still feel it at times, but it's lost its power to make me react. Before recovery the slightest suggestion of longing would send me crazy. I HAD to contact my POA. I just couldn't cope. Now, I can feel very intense longing and know I will be alright, that it will pass and I don't have to act out on it. Each day in withdrawal of just letting the longing be, just bearing it, is a proud day. It's such an achievement to recover from love addiction. I wouldn't wish withdrawal on anyone and I am very glad I'm through it, but looking back on it I feel very proud that I did learn to bear the longing and I can see what a precious time it was for me to learn how to cope with such powerful feelings. If you're in withdrawal now, don't give up. It's a time when you meet yourself and understand what you are and what you're capable of. Bearing longing helped me grow up, and I am very happy I went through that experience. It's an extreme and often misunderstood way of reaching maturity, but if you're in it, keep going. It's worth it at the other side. P.
They also don't uphold any boundaries and so it's very uncomfortable... *sigh*