Post by g on Sept 6, 2010 12:22:57 GMT -5
I've been thinking about my sister over the last couple of days and why being 'skinny' is so attractive in my opinion. ( I was looking at her yesterday in shorts actually and thinking how old and unattractive she looked as she is nothing more than skin and bones)
My mother always singled my sister out as she didn't eat enough and was always underweight. She seemed to get all the attention at home as a result.
Another memory that came to mind was of my mother's wedding dress. I remember it was tiny. My sister was the only one who it fit properly. Not surprising as my mum weighed 39 kg when she got married. I can remember never being able to button it up not even as a teenager. Think that might be to blame for my very poor self image and my preoccupation with losing weight on and off over the years.
I overate when my r/s with my bf was very rocky. Put on 10kg in a year. Split up with him and met my future h. Lost 10kg over the following year.
Fell out with my family and moved away. Lost a lot of the weight I had accumulated and fell for my work poa.
My h got seriously ill and when my poa came on the scene I suddenly felt desirable again and the weight fell off me again. If I'm slim I'm desirable, if I'm fat I'm not. As simple as that. That's what my inner child believes. Mummy will only dote on me if I don't eat. Mummy will only have time for me if I'm thin. If I'm fat I can take care of myself and nobody needs to worry about me.
My mother always singled my sister out as she didn't eat enough and was always underweight. She seemed to get all the attention at home as a result.
Another memory that came to mind was of my mother's wedding dress. I remember it was tiny. My sister was the only one who it fit properly. Not surprising as my mum weighed 39 kg when she got married. I can remember never being able to button it up not even as a teenager. Think that might be to blame for my very poor self image and my preoccupation with losing weight on and off over the years.
I overate when my r/s with my bf was very rocky. Put on 10kg in a year. Split up with him and met my future h. Lost 10kg over the following year.
Fell out with my family and moved away. Lost a lot of the weight I had accumulated and fell for my work poa.
My h got seriously ill and when my poa came on the scene I suddenly felt desirable again and the weight fell off me again. If I'm slim I'm desirable, if I'm fat I'm not. As simple as that. That's what my inner child believes. Mummy will only dote on me if I don't eat. Mummy will only have time for me if I'm thin. If I'm fat I can take care of myself and nobody needs to worry about me.
), it was a way to fill a void and stop me obsessing about my poa. 
