Post by serenity on Apr 12, 2011 6:35:30 GMT -5
I feel its important to be accountable here for my step 9 process.
I had some amazingly spiritual experiences over the weekend whilst I was writing my amends letter to God, what an experience! I've not experienced anything distressing whilst making amends and people have been very accepting which has been a blessing.
There are 2 amends i need to make to two very strong, quite stern women. One is the owner of the stables where i used to ride and keep my horse and i was terrified of her as she was known as 'the bitch'. The other woman is from my old workplace at a PR agency in London and she's a tough scottish woman who had a god at me when i was doing my internship there and I stood up to her which helped her respect me i think but i really don't want to see her face to face.
I have been to this PR company to make amends for taking some petty cash and I returned the money but my boss wasn't there that day so i didn't see him face to face.
I think I have a bigger fear of strong women as my mother is a soflty natured woman who wants to help others and when i face women who are like my dad, stern and narcassitic I freak out. I also know that I have my father's tendencies and so i want to compete with these women on one level and let them know who they are dealing with! Ego is so interesting isn't it.
My mother is the only person that I am unable to make amends to in the present moment but i am open and willing to be in contact when God shows me its the right time.
I do ot know what to do about my brother- my sponsor made a comment that surprised me as she said she would not encourage me to have any contact with him ever again. I know he is in pain and has recently been diagnosed with diabetes. I think a letter would be the safest way of making amends to him.
I have already made amends to my father and I believe I will only be able to have small boundaried contact with him on my terms from now on.
Gosh, so much has happened through my slaa process. I feel balanced and adult and alive
I had some amazingly spiritual experiences over the weekend whilst I was writing my amends letter to God, what an experience! I've not experienced anything distressing whilst making amends and people have been very accepting which has been a blessing.
There are 2 amends i need to make to two very strong, quite stern women. One is the owner of the stables where i used to ride and keep my horse and i was terrified of her as she was known as 'the bitch'. The other woman is from my old workplace at a PR agency in London and she's a tough scottish woman who had a god at me when i was doing my internship there and I stood up to her which helped her respect me i think but i really don't want to see her face to face.
I have been to this PR company to make amends for taking some petty cash and I returned the money but my boss wasn't there that day so i didn't see him face to face.
I think I have a bigger fear of strong women as my mother is a soflty natured woman who wants to help others and when i face women who are like my dad, stern and narcassitic I freak out. I also know that I have my father's tendencies and so i want to compete with these women on one level and let them know who they are dealing with! Ego is so interesting isn't it.
My mother is the only person that I am unable to make amends to in the present moment but i am open and willing to be in contact when God shows me its the right time.
I do ot know what to do about my brother- my sponsor made a comment that surprised me as she said she would not encourage me to have any contact with him ever again. I know he is in pain and has recently been diagnosed with diabetes. I think a letter would be the safest way of making amends to him.
I have already made amends to my father and I believe I will only be able to have small boundaried contact with him on my terms from now on.
Gosh, so much has happened through my slaa process. I feel balanced and adult and alive
