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Post by moonlight on Jun 30, 2010 3:59:45 GMT -5
Hi y'all
Here's my general story. I was born in 1977 in the Netherlands. Right now I live in Amsterdam and I work in health care. I was a very sensitive child, often stressed out. I wanted to please people and seek approval very much. Especially of elder people. That's why sometimes I didn't get on well with peers. Another factor was my sister: she was very cute and outgoing, the most popular of her class and possibly the whole school. I used to feel inferior big time. When I moved out at 18, a new world opened up. I felt very depressed and sought help. I did group therapy with young women for a year, regular therapy for 8 years, and attended Overeaters Anonymous for 6 years. Also I took anti-depressants. The combination of it all helped a great deal. I used to spend my days on a governmental sickness allowance, mostly in bed watching tv. Now I have friends, good contacts with family, finished education, participate in society. You wouldn't say I had such a hard past. But I still feel very insecure at times, mostly around work. And relationships. The thing I just cannot seem to get right. I make bad partner choices, get obsessive and clingy during the relationship and feel devastated when it ends. Last year I had a boyfriend with children, that I attached to. He won't let me see them anymore now, which is heartbreaking at times. I consider them my POA's at the moment.
So, now you have the background, makes it probably easier to read the posts is we haven't met in person yet.
Very happy to be here. Working on the steps, step 4 at the moment.
Love, Moonlight
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Post by sexlessw on Jul 4, 2010 6:03:25 GMT -5
Moonlight:
Thanks for your introduction post - I was unfamiliar with your backstory. This helps me to understand where you are "coming" from.
As an Ignorant American (ha ha ha) I think it's pretty exciting you live in Amsterdam. Do you live in the old, picture-esque area - with the old houses lined up along the river? You're thinking "Yeah, sure SexlessW - me and my millionaire family. Just asking!
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Post by quinn on Jul 4, 2010 15:39:28 GMT -5
Sexless—I was picturing Moonlight on that same street! The river, the old houses. Moonlight, now we have to know.
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Post by moonlight on Jul 5, 2010 9:23:19 GMT -5
Haha, that sounds wonderful, but alas...! I do have canals nearby, just not at my frontdoor.. I live in a neighborhood just outside the center, quite old houses (Amsterdam School, around 1920). It's a very lively, multicultural neighborhood. Buy my veggies with the Turkish shop at the corner, who always greets me by name. Lots of children, lots of cafes with big terraces.. And rent-control, so no necessity of millionaires around! Quinn, you have your own pool right? How's the climate? And how about you SexlessW?
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Post by quinn on Jul 5, 2010 9:52:14 GMT -5
Yes Moonlight, of course I have my own pool. I live in California. I also have a housekeeper and a personal trainer and all of my friends are rich.
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Post by g on Jul 5, 2010 10:00:03 GMT -5
Quinn , you got room for me in your house??? ;D G
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Post by sexlessw on Jul 5, 2010 13:05:39 GMT -5
Moonlight:
Thanks for the description - I was aware of Amsterdam being a very cosmopolitan city - as are many BIG European cities. Your section sounds fabulous. AND RENT CONTROLLED - oh my - you are living okay - even if the canal isn't at your front door step. Probably got good restaurants around too.
Frig, everybody's going to Quinn's place - that housekeeper is going to serve us up some good eats, then the personal trainer will make us run laps, and then the millionaires around the corner will take us for a ride in their Porches, Benzes and Beemers. HO HO HO.
I live in a three story home in the mid-Hudson Valley section of NYS. We're about an hour train ride up the river from Grand Central Station. Just your regular American. I think we're regular...
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Post by moonlight on Jul 6, 2010 2:28:28 GMT -5
Quinn, are you making a joke? Or do you seriously have all that? Now I'm confused, I know Someone has a pool on this board, but just not sure who it was. I thought it was you! Not that it matters in any way. Sexless, your place sounds great as well. All so exotic!
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Post by moonlight on Jul 6, 2010 3:06:10 GMT -5
I'd like to add:
I suffer from social phobia. It used to be all over the place, almost all week long, but not anymore. Most of the week is phobia-free now, only on my new job it still flourishes. I'd like to do the 12 steps on my social phobia as well. I noticed there is an anonymous group, but I can't find an online forum. So I'd like to do it here, as it is closely related to my LA.
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Post by iwillsurvive on Jul 6, 2010 8:06:28 GMT -5
Moonlight, thanks for your back story. You have come a long way since you started working on your issues. Congrats. Like you I grieved the loss of my stepdaughters after I went through a divorce from a prior POA. I did see them numerous times post divorce and went to their mothers funeral when she died from a malignant brain tumor. I told them I loved them and hugged them after the memorial service but I eventually had to let go of them. It was really tough. I'm sorry for your pain. The children were fortunate to have your love and care I am in Southern California but don't have all the amenities quinn mentioned. Your neighborhood sounds like a great place to live moonlight. It is fun to connect with people on here from all over the world. I guess love addiction doesn't restrict itself to certain regions.
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Post by quinn on Jul 6, 2010 10:09:46 GMT -5
Sorry Moonlight, I should have put a after all those amenities. Just a joke. In real life I life in a small rental I found after moving out from stbx. No housekeeper, no personal trainer, no pool. I didn't even have any of that stuff when I lived in the big beautiful house I shared with H. Your place sounds great. I love towns that have really old parts with lots of character to them. Hard to find in CA. And rent control! That's fabulous! I like thinking of you walking around your Turkish market and sitting in cafes. Sounds like a lovely place to live.
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Post by knowlove on Jul 6, 2010 10:29:13 GMT -5
Moonlight, I too worked in healthcare for years in charge of outpatient cardiac testing at the local hospital then in doctor's offices. I loved my patients and loved taking care of people. Funny how we are all finding so many similarities with each other. I have never been to Europe of any other foreign place (except Canada and some Caribbean islands). I would love to visit someday. I think we all could tell interesting stories of where we live and what goes on. Our lives do have SOME interest and fun at times. Hope you are doing well today moonlight. Must be xcited to be getting your new puter. Hope work is not overwhelming you and you are enjoying life today.
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Post by moonlight on Jul 7, 2010 1:22:50 GMT -5
Thank you all so much, that is so nice! I hope someday we can have a conference in Amsterdam and I can introduce you all to the Turkish grocer (by the way, yesterday I found out he's divorced his wife, single again Interesting thoughts about healthcare. I can relate to working for others too hard outside work, taking care too much. And very interesting to read more of you have gone through the same things with POA's children. Very sad. Have to go to work now, come back later. Love, Moonlight
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