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Post by g on Jul 7, 2010 5:50:18 GMT -5
I wrote this a while ago but wanted to share it again with this new fellowship.
During a spiritual retreat a few years ago,it was sunset and we were asked to gather in the garden outside and to stand up, stretch out our arms and imagine we were nailed to a cross and to think of all the things around us that were causing us pain and suffering.
About sixty people in rows standing a few feet apart from each other with their arms outstretched and left like that for ten minutes. It became really painful to keep your arms up and most people had to lower them every so often. We were beginning to wonder how long the torture would last.
We had spent the day following talks and taking part in seminars. Doing theatre work with the youngsters who had come on the retreat. We were all exhausted and usually looked forward to the evening activities when we played silly games and sang and danced until bedtime so this was a bit puzzling for all of us.
I found it really uncomfortable but started to imagine the real pain of being nailed to a cross. It was really scary and weird. We were asked again to reflect on how much suffering there was around us. Then one of our guides asked us to move closer to each other but to keep our arms outstretched. we shuffled together until our fingertips were almost touching each others'...We were asked to get even closer until we could touch each others' arms....just a few centimetres more and our fingers were resting comfortably on our neighbour's shoulders. And the relief was immediate!
It was a wonderful awakening exercise for us all and moved many to tears with its simplicity. The heavy weight bearing down on us had miraculously been lifted.
Sharing a cross is the first step to recovery and that is exactly what we are doing here in this fellowship.
Thank you all my dear friends for sharing your cross with me and helping me to carry mine. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.
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Post by serenity on Jul 7, 2010 8:02:55 GMT -5
Wow G, thank you so much for sharing that experience. I felt like i was able to share my pain/cross at my slaa meeting last night as i broke down uncontrollably in the meeting as i was reading the secretary role. I had to hand to someone next to me as i was in too much pain.
My mum and my brother were the primary love addicted relationships that i clung to so its going to take me time to grieve my loss of them now. I have asked God/Jesus to let me lay in his arms for the time being whilst i can come to terms with how i want to lead my life now.
I have decided to look for a new job so that i don't have to work for the family company anymore and that will give me a lot of self esteem but i'm scared too as i have always been signed off sick from other jobs i've had. I will continue to share my cross with all the beautiful people here.
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Post by knowlove on Jul 7, 2010 9:46:01 GMT -5
Thank you great for sharing. What an experience that must have been for you. There are days I ask Jesus why He continues to be with me even in my times of need when I know I am doing wrong...........but HE does. HE never fails me. I can feel HIM close when I need HIM. Serenity, I will pray for peace and guidance for you. I will pray that HE find s you just the right job that you will love and thrive in. Yes, it is wonderful to come here and know we all understand and are here for each other. Maybe breaking down was what you needed to get rid of some pain and hurt. Hope today you are feeling a bit better. ((((((VEE))))))))
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Post by sexlessw on Jul 8, 2010 15:55:54 GMT -5
Serenity:
Wow. That's a HUGE step you're taking - leaving the family business. I wish you loads of luck and send you the power vibes.
How did you feel after you let it out at the meeting? I'll wager the other attendees were supportive towards you.
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Post by quinn on Jul 8, 2010 22:16:56 GMT -5
I love that image of all of us with our fingertips on each other's shoulders Greta. It is absolutely true that the worst possible pain is bearable when I have others to share it with. Thank you to everyone here for supporting me and each other.
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