The Lighter Side ;)

[g]

One of my favourites....


Welcome to the Psychiatric Hotline.
If you are obsessive-compulsive, please press 1 repeatedly.
If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2.
If you have multiple personalities, please press 3, 4, 5, and 6.
If you are paranoid-delusional, we know who you are and what you want. Just stay on the line so we can trace the call.
If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a little voice will tell you which number to press.
If you are depressed, it doesn't matter which number you press. No one will answer.
If you are delusional and occasionally hallucinate, please be aware that the thing you are holding on the side of your head is alive and about to bite off your ear.

[g]

Phoenix,
I've copied my first post into a new thread called 'Old friends, new friends'...
If we all copy our own posts in the order in which they appear, I can go back later and delete them from 'Checking in' thread (just to keep the forum tidy and to avoid having posts appearing twice.)
G

P.S. I agree about Trout's posts too. Very calming. I'm hyper and impulsive but you can't tell, can you? tehe

[sexlessw]

Trout46 KNOWS ALL - and that's written in a joking manner! Seriously, I'm down with what you are saying about his posts. He shares his true experience for he has experience to share.

[g]

A psychologist was walking along a Hawaiian beach when he kicked a bottle poking up through the sand. Opening it, he was astonished to see a cloud of smoke and a genie smiling at him.
"For your kindness," the genie said, "I will grant you one wish!" The psychologist paused, laughed, and replied, "I have always wanted a road from Hawaii to California."

The genie grimaced, thought for a few minutes and said, "Listen, I'm sorry, but I can't do that! Think of all the pilings needed to hold up the highway and how long they'd have to be to reach the bottom of the ocean. Think of all the pavement. That's too much to ask."

"OK," the psychologist said, not wanting to be unreasonable. "I'm a psychologist. Make me understand my patients. What makes them laugh and cry, why are they temperamental, why are they so difficult to get along with, what do they really want? Basically, teach me to understand what makes them tick!"

The genie paused, and then sighed, "Did you want two lanes or four?"


www.workjoke.com/psychologists-and-psychiatrists-jokes.html

Should this be in links to outside causes?

[moonlight]

I liked this one as well:

When the new patient was settled comfortably on the couch, the physiatrist began his therapy session, "I'm not aware of your problem," the doctor said. "So perhaps, you should start at the very beginning."

"Of course." replied the patient. "In the beginning, I created the Heavens and the Earth..."