Post by Rilly on Sept 4, 2010 15:30:33 GMT -5
As many of you know, I joined the "other" site two years ago. I was a complete mess. Sitting at the rock bottom and not knowing what to do. The stories I read sounded like me. Several people, such as Telmita, helped me on my feet and pointed me in the right direction. But I had to do the work myself. And I posted a lot. Mine was a success story. A few months later my life was totally different. I owe a lot of my success to Susan.
However, over time my relationship with Susan (Butterflygirl) started to erode. She reacted to some things I said in an negatively emotional way. On several occasions she asked others openly if they should have a vote on whether to ban me. She told me she didn't like me, and that she wished I would just leave. etc. etc.
One day, I created a new forum right here on proboards. I think it was something like loveaddiction.proboards.com. I received threatening personal messages from Susan. She was really hurt. Well, a couple of days later I decided to disable the new forum. There was just too much drama for me. I felt a little displaced. I needed a safe place to go. I wished for a new start somehow.
Well, I was away from the LAA forum for several months, except for taking a peek now and then. During that time I learned about several other confrontations between Susan and other people on the forum. I remember when many of the people on this forum (hopeforloveaddiction) finally had enough and left the other forum. I also noticed a lot of people that had even been on the LAA Board of Directors get discouraged and leave.
A few weeks ago, I had a great epiphany regarding my relationship with my Higher Power. A HP that is there for me when I hit rock bottom. A HP that I can lean on when willpower is not enough. A higher power that will not abandon me. (and if you don't believe that.. you better throw out the first three steps).
In short, I realized it was time for me to start treating others in the same way I would like to be treated by my higher power. I wanted to do a better job of treating others the way I would want them to treat me. Then in a moment of inspiration, I realized there was a wrong I needed to right.
I sent Susan (Butterflygirl) a personal message expressing appreciation and gratitude for everything she had done for me. And then told her that I would not abandon her. The message surely took her from surprise, to receive something like that after not hearing from me for so long. And we hadn't parted on the best of terms. But the important thing was... I was sincere. If I can't forgive then how do I expect to be forgiven. She sent me a simple reply: "I love you too". Nothing more was said. Every problem we had had in the past vanished in a few moments. Two people WILLING to let go and start afresh.
When we don't forgive, we only carry a weight we don't need to carry. There is not a person on this forum that had a larger confrontation with Susan than me. So this is a message of hope. I love you all and just want you to get the relief I got. Resentment and bitterness are heavy weights. "It's the other person's fault" is not a badge to wear. A single expression of love dispelled all the conflict. All we need is love.
I'm sure there will be plenty of replies to this post that start with "But..." or "However..." or "Your situation is the different..."
I just pray the you don't take any of what I just said defensively. Easily taking offense is just as bad as offending. There are too many divisions. We all need love and unity.
Rilly
However, over time my relationship with Susan (Butterflygirl) started to erode. She reacted to some things I said in an negatively emotional way. On several occasions she asked others openly if they should have a vote on whether to ban me. She told me she didn't like me, and that she wished I would just leave. etc. etc.
One day, I created a new forum right here on proboards. I think it was something like loveaddiction.proboards.com. I received threatening personal messages from Susan. She was really hurt. Well, a couple of days later I decided to disable the new forum. There was just too much drama for me. I felt a little displaced. I needed a safe place to go. I wished for a new start somehow.
Well, I was away from the LAA forum for several months, except for taking a peek now and then. During that time I learned about several other confrontations between Susan and other people on the forum. I remember when many of the people on this forum (hopeforloveaddiction) finally had enough and left the other forum. I also noticed a lot of people that had even been on the LAA Board of Directors get discouraged and leave.
A few weeks ago, I had a great epiphany regarding my relationship with my Higher Power. A HP that is there for me when I hit rock bottom. A HP that I can lean on when willpower is not enough. A higher power that will not abandon me. (and if you don't believe that.. you better throw out the first three steps).
In short, I realized it was time for me to start treating others in the same way I would like to be treated by my higher power. I wanted to do a better job of treating others the way I would want them to treat me. Then in a moment of inspiration, I realized there was a wrong I needed to right.
I sent Susan (Butterflygirl) a personal message expressing appreciation and gratitude for everything she had done for me. And then told her that I would not abandon her. The message surely took her from surprise, to receive something like that after not hearing from me for so long. And we hadn't parted on the best of terms. But the important thing was... I was sincere. If I can't forgive then how do I expect to be forgiven. She sent me a simple reply: "I love you too". Nothing more was said. Every problem we had had in the past vanished in a few moments. Two people WILLING to let go and start afresh.
When we don't forgive, we only carry a weight we don't need to carry. There is not a person on this forum that had a larger confrontation with Susan than me. So this is a message of hope. I love you all and just want you to get the relief I got. Resentment and bitterness are heavy weights. "It's the other person's fault" is not a badge to wear. A single expression of love dispelled all the conflict. All we need is love.
I'm sure there will be plenty of replies to this post that start with "But..." or "However..." or "Your situation is the different..."
I just pray the you don't take any of what I just said defensively. Easily taking offense is just as bad as offending. There are too many divisions. We all need love and unity.
Rilly