LRAA GUIDELINES

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PRINCIPLES, POLICIES, AND PROCEDURES OF LOVE AND RELATIONSHIPS ADDICTS ANONYMOUS

( Approved by GC 14/09/2010)

Consistent with the 12 Steps and 12 Traditions of LRAA, the only requirements for membership of LRAA are a desire to recover from all forms of love and relationship addiction and that members have reached the age of 18 years.

Participation on the LRAA Board is limited to LRAA Members.

This Board was in fact created to allow the fellowship to feel safe and secure when discussing their love and relationship addictions.

The guiding principle and primary purpose of the LRAA Board and Fellowship is to provide a forum to enable its membership to pursue and achieve recovery from these addictions.

Decisions by this Fellowship will be made by Group Conscience by a system of posts and votes on the Group Conscience Board. Any HOME GROUP MEMBER may suggest an issue for Group Conscience consideration.


N.B. Only Home Group members may vote on Group Conscience decisions.

The Admin Council will set up a poll proposing an issue that has been raised.

Admin will give its opinion and recommendations, which are not binding however, to the HG Members.

Once an issue and poll have been posted in the Group Conscience thread for 7 days , votes will be tallied and a decision posted.

If any Member disagrees with a Group Conscience decision, he or she may express opinions by PM to the Admin Council, which may either affirm the decision or repost the issue for reconsideration by Group Conscience, using the foregoing procedure.

The Admin Council does not have the authority to reverse a Group Conscience decision.

The members of LRAA adhere to the principles of transparency, shared governance, specifically in the form of direct participatory democracy by Home Group Members and equality.

THE ADMINISTRATIVE COUNCIL

The members of the Administrative Council act in multiple capacities, which include:

- being servants of the fellowship and channels through whom Group Conscience can be expressed

- organization of multiple forms of communications among and between members,

- resolution of disputes,

- relations with external groups , organizations, and entities, and other matters.


ELECTIONS

Elections have been held and the Administrative Council will begin their 1 year term beginning July 13, 2010

The Administrative Council presently comprises
- the Board Administrator (Greta),
- Executive Administrator (Trout),
- Step Sponsor/Administrative Assistant (Primrose),
- two Administrative Assistants (Knowlove and CJ),
- Webmaster/Elections Monitor (Kelleyboy).

The Admin Council (also known as Admin Team or Service Team) is responsible for participating in online discussions on a regular basis on the Service Staff Brainstorming Board via email, via PM and/or in chat room meetings.

They do so in order to discuss matters to be presented to the Group Conscience, or to deal with other matters as they arise. Members of the service team may volunteer to perform other duties in assisting in the expansion of the site.

Any Home Group Member (HGM) may also suggest or recommend a new idea or change to the present guidelines by sending a PM to 'admin' and/or to an Admin Council member.

The recommendation will then be discussed within the Admin Council and presented to Group Conscience. The essence of the discussion and decision is normally posted on the Group Conscience board and is open to HGM members only.


BOARD ETIQUETTE
LRAA Members are expected to treat each other with respect, dignity, and sincerity as they share their experiences, strength, and hope with fellow LRAs in the withdrawal and recovery processes


POSTING ON THE LRAA MESSAGE BOARD

In accordance with the first LRAA tradition "Our common welfare should come first; personal recovery depends upon LRAA unity", if you have come to carry any message directly opposed to the LRAA method of recovery, we suggest you seek a more appropriate site. This is an LRAA related recovery board that encourages everyone to carry the message of hope that LRAA offers.

This Fellowship is guided by the 12 Steps and Traditions as derived for those of Alcoholics Anonymous. They are posted on the main page of the Board. The 12 Steps and Traditions are the foundation and guiding principles of this Fellowship.

We are mindful of the fact that there is debate outside of this Fellowship as to the best approach to recovery. This, however, is no place for that debate.

You are not required to personally embrace the 12 Steps or work the 12 Steps. This is not the place, however, for a debate as to whether they are the best approach. That decision has been made by the Fellowship.

You are welcome to post about challenges you may encounter if and when you consider or work the 12 Steps. We all face them.

Please do not, however, attempt to start a dialogue as to whether the 12 Steps are effective or recommend some other technique, approach or doctrine as preferable to the 12 Steps. Any such posting will be removed.

No contact (NC) is a technique many of us feel is helpful, if not critical, to recovery. No member is required to embrace NC as a condition to participation in this Fellowship. We expect Members to be respectful and considerate of the decisions of others in this regard.

We are all here to work towards recovery from LRAA. Posting is the primary means of expressing ourselves in the fellowship. Our posts are read not only by members of the fellowship, but are available to guests who visit our site. We should make every effort to keep our posts focused on ourselves, including our thoughts, feelings, experiences, hopes, dreams, problems, and ideas as they generally relate to our recovery.

In order to create a supportive and positive environment, there are some guidelines we observe when posting on the Message Boards.

By making posts, you are agreeing to abide by the following standards:

- Be positive and encouraging
and do everything you can to make others feel welcome.

- Keep an open mind as others talk about their beliefs, goals and opinions- you might learn something!

- Give everyone the benefit of the doubt that they are trying to help and have good intentions.

- Tough love can be a helpful kick in the pants, but "tough" does not equal "mean".

- Respect everyone's opinions. Even though you might not agree with someone, that doesn?t mean they are wrong or deserve to be belittled.

- Remember that what works for you may not work for everyone else. Give everyone the same courtesy you would expect in return.

- No profanity or explicit content.

- No avatars that might be considered "inappropriate".

- No posts that could be interpreted as threatening or harassment.

- No advertising or product promotion is permitted. Any posts created with commercial intent will be removed.

- No links to outside causes except on board that has been specifically created for that purpose.

- It is strictly forbidden to publicly post the contents of a PM.
Private Messages (PMs):

PMs or Private Messages are a very useful tool but Members in early recovery may feel uncomfortable if approached privately by other Members.
As a result, PMs should be used with the utmost discretion and mutual respect. This is a recovery board and PMs should not be used as a means to getting romantically involved with other members.
PMs should NOT be used to make a personal attack or accusations on any other member.

Once again, please remember that it is strictly forbidden to publicly post the contents of a PM.


We are all LRAAs in recovery and a few words of caution are necessary for us all:

1. Be aware of the use of terms of endearment and words like "love" in PMs, they can be very triggering for LRAs early in recovery.

2. TRIANGLES. If you were sexually abused or emotionally incested (many of us were) getting into a triangle can be very difficult and can lead to a lot of projection.
The drama of a triangle is exciting and can seem compelling. Avoid them if they start to hurt and you feel overwhelmed. Ultimately, LRAs want intimacy and safe triangles in their lives, so they can be used to learn and heal if people have good boundaries, but treat them with care.

3. CYBER RELATIONSHIPS AND ENMESHMENT.
Getting close really quickly is a hallmark of cyber relationship addicts. Remember, you are online. Relationships here may feel very real, but they are not the same as having friends in reality. Conflict is more likely online and so is confusion and projection. Treat relationships with a degree of caution if you are an addict who doesn't yet know the difference between intensity and intimacy.

4. ATTRACTION TO ANOTHER MEMBER
As in any group or fellowship, there are likely to be situations in which a member will be attracted to or triggered by another member's posts or messages. Such attractions should be handled with the greatest care and sensitivity, since the primary purpose of our fellowship involves recovery from our love and relationship addictions.
It does happen in recovery that people are attracted to each other, it is not intrinsically wrong (obviously!) You are here to heal and so are others, so don't act out on your attraction if you are early in recovery as it will cut short your withdrawal.


Ordinarily, we should avoid writing about other Members in our posts, other than references to what others have posted.

We should also refrain from making references to information we have exchanged via PM or Email with other members.

If a member finds a post offensive in any way, he/she should consider contacting the individual through a personal message, share a reaction or grievance in private and make every effort to resolve the matter amicably. If the situation deteriorates, please contact a member of the Service Staff and enlist their assistance in the matter

Deletions and Warnings

Any member of the Admin Council is authorized, in her or his discretion, to warn any Member of inappropriate conduct. Service staff members are authorized to immediately modify any offending post by substituting words, phrases or full sentences with asterisks, or delete if the post is particularly offensive. Any member of the Admin Council may also modify a text to modify any objectionable word (but not content) or lock a thread in the best interests of the Fellowship.

Admin members are advised to save a copy of the original post before editing/deleting it.

Any violation of these Guidelines or posted policies or any conduct detrimental to the Fellowship may result in the loss of posting privileges.

Suspension of posting privileges and/or banning of members

The Admin Council may suspend the posting privileges of a Member for no more than thirty days. In the event of a suspension, the Member will have read only privileges.


Banning will be implemented for members whose sole purpose in joining the forum is to cause disruption

The decision to ban a Member shall be made only by Group Conscience.

RELATIONS WITH OTHER BOARDS, SITES, AND ORGANIZATIONS
This Fellowship is not affiliated with, sponsored by, approved by, or associated with any other Board, Site or Organization. Members of this Fellowship, including Home Group Members, are free to participate in any other Board, Site or Organization as they wish. This Fellowship does not invite or solicit any person to join the Fellowship or exclude any person from joining this Fellowship


Commentary by Members concerning this Fellowship outside the Board is discouraged in keeping with the 12 Traditions. Members should be particularly mindful that statements made regarding this Fellowship might be incorrectly perceived by others as statements on behalf of the Fellowship. In the unlikely event that the Fellowship wishes to make any statement outside the Fellowship, such statement would require approval by Group Conscience.

ANONYMITY
We observe all LRAA Principles and Traditions on our web site. As anonymity is the "spiritual foundation of all our Traditions," we practice anonymity on the LRAA website and Message Board at all times. The LRAA web site and Message Board are public media which have the potential for reaching the broadest possible audience and, therefore, require the same safeguards that we use at the level of press, radio and film.

In accordance with the 11th Tradition, it is strongly suggested that you do not post personal information when posting to the forums.

Unregistered members may view your profile. If you do not wish to show your email address in your profile, your location, or your date of birth, simply choose those options when you register. You may change that decision at any time by clicking on your profile and then going to ?Modify Profile?. Remember to save the changes you make.

Although Members are finding meaningful contacts through e-mail exchange, some have also experienced unfortunate problems corresponding with other Members via e-mail. Should you choose to post any personal information on the LRAA web site or Forum it is entirely your decision and you assume all risks.

Any e-mail addresses obtained in the registration process are held in the strictest confidence and will not be released to anyone. The same holds true for any e-mail addresses obtained when you email a staff member.