Post by g on Sept 22, 2010 2:16:54 GMT -5
Went out for a meal with friends of ours. They had friends from a neighbouring city staying with them and wanted us to meet them.
My friend introduced us saying I was a native speaker of English and the guy said 'Hey I'm American!!!!' Well yes he may have lived in America until he was nine and he loved to tell people he was American but OMG what an act! MY friend had told me previously about how many languages he spoke perfectly and i kept thinking if he speaks the other anguages as 'perfectly' as he speaks English...
The restaurant owner also overheard
us speaking
English and came over and asked who was British. The American guy almost howled ' Hey what about me Why don't you ask me where I'm from??' And he went on and on about how he was from Boston and how he loved America (all the time pretending he didnt live in this country)
I just sat there cringing as everybody in the restaurant looked round and wondered what all the fuss was about.
That was my 'better than' thing going on . I was projecting a bit and going back to times when my parents'bad English would embarrass me and I'd just want to disappear.
The evening was actually going quite well except for this man who was making a super effort to dazzle everyone ( crap sense of humour, loud, boasted about everything)
subject of the internet came up and social networking sites and cellphones and texting. My h made a comment about me being online all the time and my friends asked me outright how many hours I spent on the computer every day. I was vague. My h made a comment .. So did my daughter and I felt like the biggest liar thathad ever walked the earth.
I was left feeling very annoyed and bitter. I want to scream at my h that he all he wants is for me to earn money, cook clean, cater to his every need and not have a life of my own. If I read a book I get criticised, if I have a hobby I get criticised, if I spend money the same. Whatever I do that distracts me from being a perfect wife and mother is criticised.
I didn't tell our friends that my h used to always complain about me being on the phone to my friends, or that I never felt i had the right to go out with my friends in the evening cos he didn't want me to, or that he doesn't like me going to see my family. If I invite them round he goes to bed or has minimum contact with them.
What am I supposed to do with my life? Who am I and what exactly am I permitted to do?
Ok I'm venting. Sorry. Will pull myself together.
I'd rather be hitting a punchbag and screaming as loudly and as long as I can.
Will be starting salsa classes asap. Without h. Will be back at work with a regular timetable soon.
Will be starting a weekend -long chakra course second
weekend in October. That's all day Saturday and Sunday YAY!!!!
another chakra weekend in Nov and December. I am going to have a life of my own from now on. Just very p***ed off right now.
G
My friend introduced us saying I was a native speaker of English and the guy said 'Hey I'm American!!!!' Well yes he may have lived in America until he was nine and he loved to tell people he was American but OMG what an act! MY friend had told me previously about how many languages he spoke perfectly and i kept thinking if he speaks the other anguages as 'perfectly' as he speaks English...
The restaurant owner also overheard
us speaking
English and came over and asked who was British. The American guy almost howled ' Hey what about me Why don't you ask me where I'm from??' And he went on and on about how he was from Boston and how he loved America (all the time pretending he didnt live in this country)
I just sat there cringing as everybody in the restaurant looked round and wondered what all the fuss was about.
That was my 'better than' thing going on . I was projecting a bit and going back to times when my parents'bad English would embarrass me and I'd just want to disappear.
The evening was actually going quite well except for this man who was making a super effort to dazzle everyone ( crap sense of humour, loud, boasted about everything)
subject of the internet came up and social networking sites and cellphones and texting. My h made a comment about me being online all the time and my friends asked me outright how many hours I spent on the computer every day. I was vague. My h made a comment .. So did my daughter and I felt like the biggest liar thathad ever walked the earth.
I was left feeling very annoyed and bitter. I want to scream at my h that he all he wants is for me to earn money, cook clean, cater to his every need and not have a life of my own. If I read a book I get criticised, if I have a hobby I get criticised, if I spend money the same. Whatever I do that distracts me from being a perfect wife and mother is criticised.
I didn't tell our friends that my h used to always complain about me being on the phone to my friends, or that I never felt i had the right to go out with my friends in the evening cos he didn't want me to, or that he doesn't like me going to see my family. If I invite them round he goes to bed or has minimum contact with them.
What am I supposed to do with my life? Who am I and what exactly am I permitted to do?
Ok I'm venting. Sorry. Will pull myself together.
I'd rather be hitting a punchbag and screaming as loudly and as long as I can.
Will be starting salsa classes asap. Without h. Will be back at work with a regular timetable soon.
Will be starting a weekend -long chakra course second
weekend in October. That's all day Saturday and Sunday YAY!!!!
another chakra weekend in Nov and December. I am going to have a life of my own from now on. Just very p***ed off right now.
G