Post by jphcbpa on Mar 28, 2012 11:14:11 GMT -5
Greetings from Houston, Texas
Thank you so much for this forum. I have been reading old post for days now. THANK YOU! They are helping. Just logging on and posting this feels free and hopeful. Slowly I feel the new person God wants to bring to the surface. Some days/hours are happy, joyous and free and other days/hours are very low where this disease is all over me and I begin to question the power of recovery.
Briefly my story. Been married nearly 5 years. With my wife, I am a love avoidant and with my POA I am a love addict. It is a sexless marriage mostly because I act out with affairs and have no idea what real intimacy is (emotional or physical). I am currently seeing a therapist and going to SLAA meetings. The past few years I have had random short term affairs, lots of intrigue and fantasy (which I found I am addicted to). I am currently ending a 4 month affair with LC. It is very painful at times, the rollercoaster ride is getting better (much better than the ride while in the relationship full time). I am hoping for NC in the near future, but I just keep surrendering her and my ideas to God. I am powerless over her. It has been many years since I was this way (love addict) with a woman. In the past, I would never let anyone get this close.
I have been AA sober for nearly 9 years. Little did I know that God has much more work for me to do. Little did I know that my sex addictions were there first. More is being revealed!
Blessings!
Thank you so much for this forum. I have been reading old post for days now. THANK YOU! They are helping. Just logging on and posting this feels free and hopeful. Slowly I feel the new person God wants to bring to the surface. Some days/hours are happy, joyous and free and other days/hours are very low where this disease is all over me and I begin to question the power of recovery.
Briefly my story. Been married nearly 5 years. With my wife, I am a love avoidant and with my POA I am a love addict. It is a sexless marriage mostly because I act out with affairs and have no idea what real intimacy is (emotional or physical). I am currently seeing a therapist and going to SLAA meetings. The past few years I have had random short term affairs, lots of intrigue and fantasy (which I found I am addicted to). I am currently ending a 4 month affair with LC. It is very painful at times, the rollercoaster ride is getting better (much better than the ride while in the relationship full time). I am hoping for NC in the near future, but I just keep surrendering her and my ideas to God. I am powerless over her. It has been many years since I was this way (love addict) with a woman. In the past, I would never let anyone get this close.
I have been AA sober for nearly 9 years. Little did I know that God has much more work for me to do. Little did I know that my sex addictions were there first. More is being revealed!
Blessings!