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Post by iwillsurvive on Jun 15, 2010 2:42:49 GMT -5
Still awake. A 5.7 earthquake hit at the California/Mexico border tonight and it rattled my windows and nerves a little. Should be used to it since I've lived in Cali nearly my entire life. Was posting on fantasy busting and lost the long post. Oh well. A dear friend from my college years called and I told her I was a love addict. She said, "Hey, we're all love addicts. I'll send you a copy of "Why Men Like Bitches" to keep by your bedside." Why didn't I think of that? Yeah, forget recovery. Just read the bitch manual. Haha.
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Post by g on Jun 15, 2010 4:51:03 GMT -5
IWS,
Earthquakes freak me out.
But not as much as people who tell me to 'just get over it'.
Mind you, the Bitch manual sounds like a helluva good idea LOL
;D
G
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Post by primrose on Jun 15, 2010 5:52:07 GMT -5
Thanks for the get well wishes! My father just called, I said "I'm ill" he said "How on earth did that happen?" I said "I don't know, it just did" he said "How strange. Well it will go away soon no doubt" I guess that's why I'm always so surprised when I'm ill, growing up no one seemed to believe that it was possible to get a virus.
Moonlight big hugs for your anxiety.
Knowlove, it could be that you've switched into avoidant, it might not be, but if you have, be wary of the detachment that comes from that. It's not freedom from addiction to switch, and the avoidant's detachment still means a person is engaged in the dance. I always walked away as the avoidant, and had detachment and contempt, but I still couldn't keep away from love addicts. I still kept engaging in the game. I had the upper hand, but I wasn't free of the behaviour. And avoidants have a whole heap of frustrations that comes with engaging with an active love addict. The feeling of total overwhelm, the irritation. It is so extraordinary isn't it to realise that maybe intimacy isn't something so important after all! I only wanted my POA because he was unobtainable.
I feel rough today, think I'm just going to stay in bed and sleep as much as I can. I have no appetite at all. Hope it passes soon. P.
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Post by primrose on Jun 15, 2010 5:59:33 GMT -5
That manual sounds very funny Makes me think of The Rules, mind you I know that The Rules can do a lot of damage. Know some LAs having to de-tox from it in SLAA. P.
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Post by phoenix on Jun 15, 2010 6:58:57 GMT -5
I spent the day yesterday driving to the state youth correctional facility for a family therapy session. Four hours of driving for one hour of therapy but it was worth it. Also got to give my daughter hugs, which is not allowed during regular visiting.
Her therapist is going to order Brenda Schaefer's book Love or Addiction: The Power & Peril of Teen Sex & Romance. I brought her a copy but becasue of their arcane rules I was not allowed to leave it or donate it to them. I am not even allowed to send it via amazon...Her therapist is keen to know more about love addiction and can already see this is something we need to address in her therapy & the therapy of others.
My daughter has been incarcerated in this particular place since September and was settled in. She told me they consolidated two units into one and now she is sharing a room with someone of a different race who is so prejudiced she constantly screams at my daughter and threatens her. So my daughter is sleeping on a cot in the floor. I was so sad to hear this, her pictures and cards tacked up in her room was so important to her. I started to get angry and insisted on speaking to the unit director etc...then my daughter said "Mom! I am working it out, I'm ok, you don't have to fix everything for me, I'm getting reassigned soon, calm down, let's stick to our therapy session."
No wonder I miss her so much. 51 weeks to go til she is home again.
Primrose~ hope your feeling well soon. Knowlove~sounds like you are really starting to unravel the mystery of yoiur particular brand of LA, and that IS a good thing IMO Moon~ ((((BIG HUG)))) IWS~Dang, want to read your fantasy busting post! Phoenix
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Post by knowlove on Jun 15, 2010 7:09:31 GMT -5
Phoenix-glad the therapist is aware of LA and is going to be addressing this with your daughter and so so glad you got to give her a hug. Very important! Hugs to you for the long drive and praying your daughter gets her new room or roommate. Moonlight-prayers for anxiety to subside and that everything will go smoothly for you. Iwill-I agree with Greta here. Book title sounds funny but this is not something we just "get over." Prim-hugs and prayers for a quick recovery and rest. I know I will never be free of this addiction (if only!) and know this is just another part of it. I am keenly aware that ifPOA should just go away those feelings could stir but its been quite awhile since Ive thought of making contact, even when he got the GF so hopefully will be ready for that and still go on in recovery without the strong urge to initiate contact. Yes, hard when H is giving me such a hard time. Love to all and hope you are all having a good day(and Prim is healing quickly!).
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Post by g on Jun 15, 2010 7:10:22 GMT -5
Big hug to you and your daughter Phoenix. How precious our children are...
G
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Post by g on Jun 15, 2010 7:11:22 GMT -5
Big hug to you too knowlove
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Post by moonlight on Jun 15, 2010 11:07:26 GMT -5
Thanks very much everyone, I had a happy day. The prayers helped (and the quarter pill may have contributed a little as well.. Love, Moonlight
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Post by moonlight on Jun 15, 2010 19:39:09 GMT -5
But now I've hurt myself very much by looking at the website of the children of my ex for three hours. It's 2.30 in the morning. I'm exhausted and very sad. I miss the children and I miss my ex very much.
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Post by phoenix on Jun 15, 2010 19:56:29 GMT -5
Moon~ I'm so sorry you're sad, Please stop hurting yourself. Please stop feeding your addiction by cyberstalking. It's late where you are and you need to rest now. Tomorrow you'll have a clearer head. rest now & check in tomorrow.
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Post by knowlove on Jun 15, 2010 20:47:32 GMT -5
((((((((((((((HUGS))))))))))))))))))))) So very hard to not feed this voracious addiction. Make yourself go to bed and try and get some rest. So sorry you are missing everyone and feeling so sad. I hope morning brings you strength.
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Post by quinn on Jun 15, 2010 21:19:10 GMT -5
Moonlight, I feel so badly for you missing the children. It's just the most awful thing when children and animals end up having to be part of NC. But looking at those photos is not good for you.
Please tell us how you're doing when you get up. ((((((((((((Moon))))))))))))))
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Post by iwillsurvive on Jun 15, 2010 21:30:10 GMT -5
Moonlight, so sorry for your heartache. I really missed my ex-h/POA's daughters when we split and I found it difficult to let go of them. One promise that has helped me during times like that is, "Weeping endures for the night, but joy comes in the morning." I hope your morning brings relief! Hugs and love to you.
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Post by g on Jun 16, 2010 7:32:52 GMT -5
Absolutely exhausted. Have also been talking about my POA too much for my own good. It really is like picking at a scab and running the risk that it will fester again and all that yucky puss will ooze out. Bleuuuccch NC for me means not even thinking about him. Knowing he is there and always will be but in a box somewhere that I have to keep the lid on to stop me looking inside. Feeling very tearful but probably because of lack of sleep. There have been enough tears over the last few days to last me well into next month. G
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